My family is nothing if not loving and supportive. They've put up with many
phases in my life. They loved me when I was overweight and a complete couch
potato. They loved me when I decided to lose weight and get in shape. They loved
me when I refused to eat anything that had any measurable amount of fat or
calories. They loved me when I took up running when I had never done anything
remotely athletic in my adult life. They really had to love me when I was
training for my marathons and went a little bonkers those last few weeks before
the events. I know they love me now that I'm doing triathlons, but I know they
have a lot of questions as they try to understand why I do the things I do.
Their questions have been varied and heartfelt. I've usually laughed at their
questions or shrugged off their complaints. Well, I think the time is right for
me to finally address their questions and concerns. Following is a list of
actual statements I've heard and, until now, ignored.
My youngest daughter, Molly: "Whatever happened to my fat mama who was
always around?" Your fat mama is alive and well in my mirror about half the
time I look in it. And when I am around, I'm able to relate to you as a woman
who's active and more or less happy with herself, not just as your mother. Trust
me, you like me better this way.
My middle daughter, Meagan: "None of my friends believe that my mother
does marathons and triathlons. They can't understand why anyone would run so far
without someone chasing them." No, no one's chasing me. Yes, there are
times when it really hurts and I can't understand why I'm doing it either. But
there are other times when I can't tell you how proud I am of myself or how good
it feels to do something that the average person doesn't even attempt.
My oldest daughter, Michelle: "You're psycho, Mom." Probably, but
my blood runs in your veins too. Who knows what you'll attempt to try when
you're my age? I hope I've enabled you to envision yourself doing anything you
want to do if you're willing to work at it. I also hope you're able to see
yourself doing something outside the norm that other people may laugh at, just
because you love it.
My significant other of 14 years and best friend, John: "What on earth
ever made you decide to become a competitive athlete at 38?" Beats the hell
out of me. I just know that I tried it and have to keep on trying it. I didn't
mean to fall in love with triathlons, I just did, just like I fell in love with
you. I'm not running from you. I'm just doing something that makes me very happy
and makes me feel good about myself. It also allows me to laugh at myself and
not be afraid to risk looking ridiculous.
My mother, to me: “Honey, if you want to do it, do it”; to my sister,
with her next breath: "Do you know what you're stupid sister's doing?” I
know you support me, Mom, and admire what I do. I know you brag about my
exploits to family, friends and any stranger who you happen to engage in
conversation with while in line at the store. I also know you truly don't
understand why I do the things I do or where my desire comes from. Neither do I,
but thanks for bragging about me anyway.
Coworkers: "I really admire how you make time for all this fitness
stuff." Okay, you're lying, but that's fine. The way I make time is I don't
clean my house, we eat out a lot and I'm not always sure where my grown children
are or what they're doing, but I know they're okay and someone can fill me in on
a need to know basis. My house doesn't need to be that clean, there are worse
vices than eating out and my children know that I love them and will be there
for them when they need me.
Id like to belatedly thank my loved ones for all they put up with and all
their support. I love you and I know you have to love me. Why else would you
have put up with the mysterious evolution that has baffled both you and me.
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